Stuck! Maybe?

 

Leaning Trees by the Bay
8.5" x 8.5" watercolor

These leaning trees near the windsurfing shop in Alameda along the SF Bay -- they touch my heart and I'll probably try to keep painting them forever....even though the #30x30DirectWatercolor challenge is going mostly poorly for me, which is why I'm not regularly posting my daily paintings. 

In fact, I've allowed myself to think lately that I don't seem to be improving as a painter and have hit a wall and that without careful mentoring by a guide, that wall is permanent. 

Yesterday this feeling was reinforced as I listened to a painting podcast during which the painter being interviewed said it was essential to find a mentor because "practice makes permanent": That is, if you develop bad habits because you're not getting help from a good mentor, those bad habits will become deeply ingrained.

Which may be true to a degree. But during a walk along the park in our backyard by the beloved SF Bay, I decided to call bullsh*t on the idea that I can't improve without a mentor. 

Because the truth is, you can't always have a mentor in your back pocket. Even out here in the Bay Area, which overflows with excellent artists, it's not always easy to drive miles in congested and stalled traffic to get to their workshops. And they don't always teach at the times that are convenient for you. 

What you can do is take classes selectively, whether online or in person, and let them sink in over time. You can ask a good artist now and then for feedback; even developing artists (like me) are sometimes able to give good feedback. 

You can trust that you're developing an aesthetic sense that often works intuitively. You can trust that you're learning to recognize what works and what doesn't, even if you don't always know why. 

You can remind yourself that even great artists aren't always satisfied with their results. The late Jim Ochs, a professional Iowa City artist whom I admired and took a watercolor class from years ago, said he generally liked one in ten of his paintings. 

So. After that little bulls*t-calling pep-talk yesterday, this sketch of the learning trees popped out this a.m., and it gives me joy and hope. It's not a finished painting, but I like the looseness of this sketch and the contrasts of warm and cool, dark and light. I like the shadows and the way the building gives scale to the composition.

Sometimes you just have mentor yourself a bit.